Sex Feed: Nippleocalypse, plus Man says 'no' to topless Rihanna, Ron Jeremy's rum and Southwest doesn't like lesbian kiss, woman paid by ex for lack of sex

Some great stuff in Sex Feed in the last week including Ron Jeremy's new rum that we could use a little swig of (yes, I know it's 11 a.m.) but there was also this:

Mexico proposes 2 year marriages (I think I wrote a story about contract marriages 15 years ago...how have they not caught on yet?)

And these:
Dress made out of 3000 cow and yak nipples
Southwest airlines has no affection for lesbian kiss
Farmer sees topless Rihanna, says 'not on my farm ya don't'
Survey: teens having more unsafe sex
Canadian legislator gets photoshopped breast reduction
Young Christians having as much sex as anyone else (almost)

And from the archives of things I was too busy enjoying the Canadian scenery to post, but which are still good anyway:
Woman awarded $$ from ex for lack of sex
Anorexia doc faces sex assault charges
Worst Date Ever
Orthodox Rabbi pairs up gay men and lesbians so they can have kids
Vatican war of words with Ireland over sex abuse scandal

SexCult: My Celebri-Crush on Depardieu + the not-so-mainstream stars people love to love

A few weeks ago Gerard Depardieu peed in public on an aircraft and made me the happiest person on my block because it kept Gerard Depardieu in the news for a long time. I don't get to see him in movies often enough and there's something about him...animal magnetism, maybe, or just a feeling of undiluted masculinity, but whatever it is, Gerard Depardieu, to me, is about the sexiest celebrity the celebrity industry has offered up in quite some time.

      And I know he's a little atypical as far as that kind of thing goes...he's old enough to remember when turntables weren't just for DJs, he doesn't look like he gives a damn about the gym, he is in a particular elite (an Oscar nominee, fergodssake) but doesn't seem to be of it. Anyway, ruminating about why one person strikes us as so viscerally sexy at a particular time and what other non-People's-25-Sexiest celebs were on other people's dreamboat list are the subject of this week's in SexCult: J'laime in SeXis magazine.

Catching up with Sex Feed....and my stolen (and recovered) car

      SO, it's been a couple of weeks since I've been home from Canada. I wasn't re-acclimating toFlorida all that well to tell you the truth. I had really missed my friends and so I felt like Ed Grimley at Christmas when I got to see them (plus it's always good to give people a chance to miss you), but I was still on Pacific time, missing the very bearable lightness of travel, the beauty of Canada, the wonderful company and still had that buzz you get from a change of scene. Then my car got stolen.
      And I knew I was home.
      The spiffy thing is that the Orlando Police Department found it two days later, unharmed, in a parking lot not two miles away from my house. Evidently the thieves, realizing it had no gas and no A/C and they had stolen from someone more poor than themselves just ditched it. My friend Rich Torres in Brooklyn swears Casey Anthony "borrowed" it which is actually kind of a scary thought. Chas says if it had happened in Canada it would have been returned to the spot it had been taken from, full of gas and totally repaired with a note reading "Sore-eee!" This was the next best thing, so cheers to the OPD.
       At any rate, I've fallen appallingly behind in blogging Sex Feed stuff, so here's a bit of a start with yesterday's pieces:
Is Your Son Gay? There's an App for That...
Swimsuit company about to kick Aussie blogger in the Speedos
New treatment offers hope in the fight for breast cancer
and
A hitman fakes a killing after falling in love with his target

and a few from a little ways back:
'Porn Granny' beats off legal troubles
FDA Wants a National Database of Breast Implants
Federal court judge strikes down Rick Perry's anti-abortion law
A Vagina Tree No Longer Grows in Brooklyn

Porn actor's false positive HIV test result 

Will try to get 'em all on here soon so I can fall behind again in peace. 

SexCult: My (Ex) Sex Hair

All humans have an intimate relationship with their hair, whether they know it or not. We've used it to signal rank, we shave it to demean prisoners and how we wear it reveals a great deal about us. The tightly contained librarian's bun, fuschia freak streaks, dreadlocks buzz cuts and comb-overs, we read things into people and allow them to read into us by our coiffs.
      All I'd ever wanted was sex hair. In childhood I was smitten by every uber-coiffed bombshell in the media from Dean Martin's Golddiggers to Raquel Welch to Barbarella to Donna Summer to Cher to Jaclyn Smith (not so much Farrah, oddly enough...her blonde athleticism was too alien to covet). I was too young for sequined halter tops or anything to put in them, but hair was a short-term goal that seemed achievable.

     Who, in the name of all that is holy, would not want to look like this?

     Despite my mom's occasional success at talking me into then-stylish pixie-type cuts (The Short Con as I think of it now) I mostly did have long hair.
     Until one day...a day that involved a little too much bourbon and a little too much bleach, a day that lead to a 20 year obsession with all things follicular.
      That's this week's SexCult: My (Ex) Sex Hair, how image and identity come to mingle in our minds and how very suddenly we find ourselves able to toss an identity out the door, like a Christmas tree that should have been curbed before summer arrived.
        My sex hair is gone now but I still love it on all the other ladies and still covet it, just a little bit, when I see a seriously good mane out there in the world. If you have it, toss it around for me, wouldja? Just so it tickles your back a little...

Why I'm Here: cuz God is a Scottish Drag Queen

If you’re going to go up into a place called the Cariboo Mountains, the very last thing you’d probably expect to find is a bunch of actors. The very idea is uncomfortably close to a scene in a Douglas Adams book, or a Monty Python sketch. Mountains, moose and … musicals? 

But in Wells, deep in the interior of British Columbia, this actually makes sense -- because not far away from this sweet little town is Barkerville, a “living museum”-type historic gold rush town where you can see how people lived in 1870. For this, you need scads of  actors -- so while Wells doesn’t have a grocery store, a liquor store or regular hours of any kind, it’s up to its armpits in thespians AND it has it’s own playhouse, The Sunset Theater, which brings us, sort of, to what the heck I’m doing here.

Why would an indoorsy girl like myself trudge into a place where you might encounter moose or bears? A place where, when you hold your cell phone to your ear expecting service, you just hear the laughter of fate on the other end? I’m here because my friend Chas produced a show at the Victoria Fringe Festival called “God is a Scottish Drag Queen,” starring Toronto comic / actor Mike Delamont in the title role (which is  the only role). Even before winning an award for Best Solo Show at the Fringe, they were invited to bring the show to Wells. So I’m here because of a man in a dress. 

In other words, my life never really changes.

I’ve long contended that Canadians are the funniest people in the world (SCTV, Kids in the Hall, Jim Carrey, Mike Myers) and Mike Delamont adds fuel to that notion by the drum-full. The drag in this case isn’t drag in the attempting-to-convince kind of even way, or the RuPaul’s Drag Race kinda way ... he’s basically a man in a dress, or, more accurately,  a 6’7” man in an 80’s woman’s power suit, black bob wig and thick-as-haggis Scottish accent, answering some of your deepest questions about religion, back hair and the meaning of life with pants-wettingly funny observational humor and nuances you will remember for weeks. If you ever see this show, I promise, you will suddenly find yourself laughing like a crazy person in the middle of the street when you see someone on an iPhone but only you will know why.  

This God loves monkeys, wants your dancing to improve and has very definite ideas about our place on the evolutionary food chain. Finally. A deity I can believe in.

So my great hope is that Mike and Chas will bring ‘God’ to Orlando next year, possibly for our beloved and long-running Fringe? How awesome would it be to see a double bill of “God is a Scottish Drag Queen,” alongside another (fingers crossed) Jeff Jones “Welcome to Hell” installment? 

Welcome to Hell from Jeff Jones on Vimeo.
If there is a God as smart as this one, it’ll happen. 

Going up into the mountains/ catching up with MyPleasure

We kept seeing signs for "cariboo" and I thought, oh, that's cute, it's like a little regional inside joke, a play in the spelling of the kind of animals we might see here, caribou, moose, deer...all of which we were warned might decide to play "Frogger" with us, especially on the last leg of the trip.

      Nope! We are actually in Cariboo, which is an independent regional district in the BC interior and about as beautiful a place as you can imagine. I horked this map and photo from the website of the Hubs Motel in Wells, BC, the comfy little inn where we are staying. Hubs has a fine fish and chips stand in front of it (also run by the owners, who cannot have been nicer to us), so Chas has declared this is heaven.
       After being confined to the car for so long yesterday I'm anxious to get out and see where Chas, Mike and I we traveled to, so more info on all this tomorrow.

       In the meantime I'm still on the job, so I wanted to catch up on some of the pieces I've written for MyPleasure in recent weeks but haven't had a chance to post. We had a bizarre robbery and an interesting news angle on it in Sex toy thief a pervert?....at least one answer to the age old question of whether bigger is better in Size doesn't matter....a wonderful chat with the acclaimed sex writer Susan Crain Bakos who told us all about The Orgasm Loop...and the encouraging story (for someone my age, at least) about Helen Mirren's latest achievment: Body of the Year: Helen Mirren.
          Enjoy!

Happy Birthday, Freddie

Freddie Mercury would have turned 65 today. I know a lot of people will write about him more eloquently than I can; I'm just hugely grateful to have found so much inspiration, joy, connection, magic and comfort from the same person - and group of people working together - for most of my life and on into the future.

So here are some excellent showcases....of the evolution of talent...

...a compilation of some super old and not-as-old footage...

And memories, like the iron-on part of my Queen t-shirt from (about) 1976 (the shirt fell apart)

I even still have some of the 45s...

and the cover from the sheet music for Night at the Opera (though both the music and piano are long away)

Oh, what the hell....one more video for the road (literally, because in six hours I head to the interior of British Columbia). One of my favorite Freddie Mercury masterpieces...makes me feel like a millionaire.

It's the little differences...

Oh, Canada.