Yes, they're essentially just an upside down firehose, but still...Jet Packs are here!


It may not be about sex and relationships but it’s definitely going to get a lot of people off: finally, FINALLY someone has invented the jet pack.
    Men, anyone who was a kid in the 60’s, and anyone who has ever dreamed of just being able to GTFO of a situation immediately will have an emotional orgasm of the “Dreams do come true!” variety when they see this thing, the primitve start of a chldhood ideal, at work. . True it’s not exactly the futuristic model of perfection that will get you really far really fast – it runs on water and is attached to a 30-foot hose – but it’s a goddamn start and just seeing that someone’s trying to invent the objects of our sci fi lusts lifted my spirits out of the daily details and made me feel twitter-pated.
       Leave it to the Canadians, eh? They (or we…I’m half Cannuck) invented the the We-Vibe, , the Kids in the Hall, SCTV, Keanu, Margaret Atwood and Nanaimo bars. s. Now, God love ‘em, they’re making Saturday afternoon matinees a reality. In case you’re feeling as emotional as I am, here’s a bunch of hockey fans singing the national anthem. Join in, if you wish.
       So, now that they’ve got a start on jet packs I entreat my half brothers and sisters to the north to get cracking on some of the other treats we’ve been promised by sci fi. My list, not in order:
       The What-If Machine (from Futurama – ask it a question, like “What if I hadn’t seen those jet packs on line this morning?” and it will show you how the future might have been)
       Orgasmatron (Sleeper)-
       Babel fish (Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy; fish, which, when inserted in ear, allows you to understand anything in any language that’s said to you)
       Bloop (chimp with werewolf ears, Lost in Space)
       Gay British robot valets (Star Wars)
       A gold-plated Jeeves and a walk-in orgasm closet. What else could anyone need? I’m counting in you, Canada. Have a beer, roll up your sleeves and make my dreams come true.

Comments

  1. Jim @ Movie Brain RotAugust 6, 2009 at 9:10 AM

    You appeal to all of my geek sensibilities. Thanks for keeping things fresh on the Internet.

    "Futurama" is so great. I love your references.

    ReplyDelete

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