Inner View of the Vampire

     With Halloween breathing down our necks exactly like a good villain ought to it seems like you can’t fling a crucifix without hitting a vampire. Thanks to True Blood and Twilight (neither of which I’ve seen; it’s an elder’s privilege to ignore the pop culture of the young) vampires didn’t need Halloween to be everywhere; like coolots and facial hair they ride occasional waves of cultural approval but at this time of year it’s worth looking at why out of all the traditional story monsters the vampire is the only one who has ever enjoyed any real sex appeal. You can argue that witches have, too, but there’s barely a sultry sorceress on the books that can hold a candle to The Count for pure magnetism.

       One part of the answers is pretty easy and pretty obvious: the vampire is just a dark version of Prince Charming, sweeping onto the scene in with more charm, money and fashion sense than anyone else and who is out for one thing: penetration. The bite is an obvious symbol of that act, giving and getting it, without showing the crass realities of our animal activities. And nothing romanticizes any act like blood  a blood oath, a signature in blood, the blood-brother/sister bond - even Catholics have been giving it the nod with transubstantiation for ages as a deal sealer.

       But there's one other thing I think is making vampire mystique popular right now, aside from the obvious kinky-forbidden-lust/elegant-stranger attraction they've always had. and that is submission. Once bitten you, poor thing, through no fault of your own, have no choice but to follow. Your free will, and its burdens, are gone.

       In a culture where “empowerment” is the ultimate selling point for everything from phones to philosophies it’s hard to imagine that we're running a low-grade fever to just give over the reigns to someone else - but power can be a little terrifying. We have a dizzying number of ways to lead our lives compared to previous generations who were pinioned by social pressures, but that means we have a dizzying number of ways to fuck up and no one to blame but ourselves. Add the choices provided by technology and it’s a wonder any of us can get out of bed. 
      The desire for a framework for all this freedom is why some people hang on Oprah's every word, cling to "The Secret" like a trailer in a hurricane or subscribe to a pre-fab 'lifestyle' - it's a relief to just use the sheet music provided instead of playing life by ear all the time and worrying that your song sucks. 

          That's why I think the vampire is the perfect anti-hero for our time; once you're his you don't have to pick a major, entertain moral dilemmas, learn internet marketing, fret about your relationships, think positive or update your Twitter status. Your health choices don't matter because you're technically not alive. And yet you still get to be on earth, with a lot of the drab and difficult stuff behind you and you know your clothes are great, your lighting is moody and what’s on the menu for dinner.

       Anyone who has a passing acquaintance with BDSM knows that it’s not so much about sex as power and the submissive’s desire to be relieved of it. The more references I see to BDSM in mainstream media, from Roseanne’s mom appearing in full domme regalia in the early 90’s to Mr. Slave on South Park – the more I think that people are hungry for safe vulnerability; freedom within a framework. As PJ O’Rourke said about bondage in his book "Modern Manners," “When you’re tied to the bed, at you know where you’re going to be for the next ten minutes.”

       It’s not that people don’t want the choices they have, but the idea of relief from tha adult responsbility can be a seductive one. That's why our love for vampires will always remain as immortal as they are.