You Gotta Urn It

       As expressions of love and the desire to keep another near go, this is not the strangest, not by a long shot. There’s no violence involved, no mom-in-the-fruit-cellar, nothing headline provoking. It’s quite benign. And I’m hesitant to quibble about any expression of love in a world that needs many, many, many more of them. It’s just that this one, while its heart is in the right place, feels like it should be being introduced to you by Cryptkeeper.

       The company is Cremation Solutions and when your loved one has gone on to glory they will, with the use of a few good pictures, make a replica of that person’s head for you to keep the ashes in. A full size head will run you $2600; a smaller, keepsake size only $600 (it's on the website under Personal Urns).

       I feel compelled to say tout suite that Cremation Solutions also has some of the loveliest and most surprising ways I’ve ever seen of keeping the departed nearby - mixed into glass or jewelry made of crystal, wood or elegant silver filagree, among other things. They’re so thoughtfully designed I’m very seriously considering getting one myself (I have so many people’s ashes, you’d think I smoked them*) – some even made me tear up, thinking how right they would be for some of my own People Who Died.

      But then…there’s the head. I’ve lost people – you don’t reach a certain age without losing people. And while I loved them dearly having their disembodied head leering out at me from the bookshelf like something Vincent Price made is more Halloween than even I can imagine wanting around - and I once had a psycho shower curtain (right).

      So you see what I mean by odd but - benign. It's really just another way to remember the beloved and who knows?  Maybe it’ll be commonplace one of these days. Maybe they’ll soon be making replicas of parts other than the head that you can remember your loved one by. All people in all cultures have had unique and peculiar ways of expressing their love for those passed; the Egyptians had their mummies, the Victorians had their post-mortem photographs, Hunter Thompson was shot into the sky in a shower of fireworks. This is just another notion of 'what a way to go,' or rather, what a way to stay.

*ok, only two, but they seem like dozens

Did you love this and want to express some financial gratitude? Did you hate this and want to pony up some money for me to go learn another trade? Here's your chance: