Your Mom May Have Entered...the "Twilight" Zone

       Despite having dodged the mania of “Twlight” I’m still a sentient American with a TV so I do, at least, know what "Twilight" is: a teensploitation vampire romance starring a brooding young actor with eyebrows that should have their own publicist, a pale young actress who bitched about fame and will never live it down and another actor who is said to be dating Taylor Swift.

       Knowing little more than this I would never in a million-qwajillion years have thought “Twilight” would be the crux of  the best story on relationships that I’ve read in quite some time.

      In “So the Woman you Love has the Hots for a Vampire. What does that say about you?” by Details magazine's Jeff Gordinier, the author spends time with some of the film’s dyed-in-the-blood fans, many of them middle-aged women who burble about Edward Cullen in a way that will stop you as if you'd walked into a sliding glass door. 

       We know all about obsessed fans. They’re easy to make fun of. Having a go at these elder “Twihards” wouldn’t be like taking candy from a baby, it would be like taking candy from a box. The great thing about the story is that Gordinier doesn’t do that. Instead, he turns his eye to a culture that would produce such a reaction - the lack of romance that marriage (and presumably most long term relationships) tend to fall into:

            To be blunt: Life is a grind, and our wives are bored shitless. Edward Cullen has, for millions of passion-starved better halves worldwide, become the undead embodiment of everything the contemporary schlub seems to have shed: danger, poetry, strength, speed, eternal devotion, and an insatiable hunger for the jugular.

      He goes on to discuss the cultural conversation about how realistic it is to compare one’s self to a vampire, talks to author Cristina Nehring, who decries the tepid nature of the “nice, stabilizing” relationship women are supposed to want these days and finally, the guys who actually learn something from Edward…like the fact that giving your partner flowers would be nice once in awhile.

       Can’t go wrong with flowers.

        If you’re going to treat yourself to a good read – not something utilitarian, but a beautifully-written, thoughtful, rich romantic adventure - exactly what’s missing from so much of our personal diets – read this. The damned thing has bite.