Drumpf Scare: Why I Worry About the Drumpf Signs I DON'T See

I have nerves like a chihuahua and since my traditional election night vodka-and-Pepto has become too strong a beverage for me I just want to be with like-minded people supporting Hillary Clinton. I asked a friend if he wanted to join me at a watch party.   

“Can I wear my Trump undies?” he texted back.

“Can I burn them in effigy? Not while you’re wearing them, of course,” I replied. 

I was joking but the conversation gave me what I call Drumpf scare which is like a “jump scare,” the horror movie trope where a viewer jumps out of their seat in terror after being lulled into a false sense of calm. A Drumpf scares is when you realize someone you thought you knew might be a Drumpf supporter as I worried about my friend. It’s that same feeling as when you realize “The calls are coming from the inside of the house!”

My guess is that there are a lot of dark Drumpfers out there, people who support someone I think of as the Hitlerian Cheeto, but who don’t want to be met with either shaming logic or the haunting groans of the conscience they must have thrown down a well in order to make this choice.

I know my worry about dark Drumpfers is valid because I’ve done exactly what they’re doing: concealed my feelings when my feelings were dangerously stupid.

For me it’s about men. My record of ‘bad romantic candidates rivals the American record for bad political ones. In the past when I was about to do something I knew would end in tears I didn’t tell my friends. I didn’t want to hear “He’s just using you,” “He doesn’t care about you,” or “He’s such a tool,” because I knew they’d be right, but if I was determined to be on the leash of baser instinct and sleep with a substandard human being, “right” was not going to stop me.

The macabre biology of menopause has stopped this behavior like a windshield stops a bug. Well, that and I finally figured something out. I used to think “Well, I’m the only one it will matter to,” but that wasn’t true. When things did go wrong in these dark liaisons, the people closest to me were affected by my inattention, bad moods and a few tense doctor visits.

So I really worry that there are way too many people who have been keeping their Drumpf affinities dark because, like me, they can’t defend their man. Takes one to know one. 

If you are a Drumpf supporter and aren’t telling your friends it’s probably because your friends are right: he’s using you, he doesn’t care about you and he’s such a tool. Do what I wish I’d done with those dumb, dark liasons: stay home. My choice to follow my baser instincts effected a few other people. Yours will effect the entire world. 

And if you’re worried one of your friends isn’t talking politics because they might support the TP ticket, ask them. I’ve done that and found, to a large degree, I was wrong. See? Not all the guys I know are jerks. 

Shhh! pic from Hungrymag
Under the Rug pic from QuoteAddicts


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