NO ONE is getting a charge out of me....

I always used to think it was funny that the only yards you ever see pit bulls savagely defending are ones where it doesn't look like there's anything to steal.

Now I get it. The less you have the more vigorous you get about defending it. Hence my car battery being chained up like King Kong. No one is getting it out but me.

See, my car got broken into....again. This time they stole the battery...the battery...and the CD player with a library CD in it (Poe...may the thieves be buried alive or walled up in a wine cellar).

I suppose I should feel lucky since last September some bastards stole the whole goddamn car (may their house fall down on top of their heads). 

Anyway, the theft isn't even the good part of the story. You see, this car keeps getting molested and why I don't know because it more stuff broken on it than an old prize fighter. One particular problem is the doors - both are broken so they only open from the outside. One has to roll down the power windows, reach out and open the door to get out of the car.

Well, before I realized a theft had occurred I got in the car, closed the door, windows up - turned the key and nothing. Then I saw the hole in the console and realized that not only had I been robbed but I was trapped in the car like Alma Mobley in Ghost Story. 

Except that I lived. Thankfully a neighbor came out heard me yell through a little opening in the window. It's a funny story...now.

(Wonderfully creepy picture from Scott Wade's Dirty Art Car Gallery)

And now, as you can see in the top picture the battery is chained in so no one is going to get it out of there. It's the metal equivalent of a pit bull barking it's head off in front of an old Air Stream. 

Only one quandary now. Since the car was burgled when parked in the lot and on the street there's only one place I feel it's safe to park it:  on the roof. Do you think Mittens would loan me his car elevator?

.

My column: 10 Amazing Things! Robot Fish! New species! Zoning out is your friend! (but you won't do it while reading this)

Garrison Keillor once wrote about a character in one of his novels that the man felt like his life was a script written by someone who didn't like him very much.

That's how I felt all week. I'm not even going to tell you about it because you've got troubles of your own...one day when they seem funnier I'll share. Until then I'm incredibly cheered up by all the cool things I find filed under "Science" on the web, so I hope you'll click on my Ten Amazing Things You Need to Know About This Week, including robot fish that detect pollution (pic below), why you seriously have to quit snoring, a metal coating that gives photodetectors a cloak of invisibility (ala Harry Potter), inflatable bike helmets, ten new species,  one little animal who we just discovered and might lose and why zoning out is much better for you than your boss would have you believe.

One promise: you won't zone out while reading this column.

In fact, if you enjoy it and there's information in it you'd like to pass on to other people, for their amusement, health & safety or just to cheer them the hell up, please do, whether it's by sending a link to this blog or directly from the Alternet page it's on. Everyone who knows me knows I'm no Pollyanna, but I started this column because I kept coming across stories of massively cool discoveries in the world of science that made me feel so excited that I wanted to pass them along. So I hope you'll do the same, partly because I want to get enough readers to keep this going and partly because it just freaking makes people feel better.
Anyway, as they say at Sirius Cybernetics, Share & Enjoy!

What's Hot in CF: Orlando Mini Maker Faire

My apologies for posting late....this has been one of the longest weeks ever. I wonder if one day someone will ever discover the secret of time's elasticity....why is it that when the week has been lousy, starting with someone breaking into my car, that it seems to stretch on forever and when it's great that it flies by in an instant. Had the design of this place really been intelligent that ratio would have been reversed, would it not?
If some brilliant scientific mind ever does figure out the reason it will probably be someone from the Orlando Mini Maker's Faire, the DIY go-to place for all things sci and tech that's happening Saturday, May 26 at the Central Florida Fairgrounds. Click the link to see all the amazing inventors and artisans that will be there and click right here to go to WFME's What's Hot in Central Florida page and hear me give you the low down on some of the participants. So proud to have so many inventive, creative people in the CF community! Hope you'll go out and support their work!

What's Hot in CF - Fringe festival! And me!

This weekend What's Hot in Central Florida is all about The Orlando Fringe Festival! There are so many plays, musicians, visual arts and kids entertainment you'll be set for things to do til the Festival ends on May 27th! And, very awesomely ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW is on their website! Click here: Orlando International Fringe Festival and you'll be set with great international and the best local entertainment.

On a visual note, one of the many shows I'm looking forward to seeing is Joan Crawford's House Party starring Doug Bowser and on What's Hot! I referred to Miss Crawford looking....just a little....separated-at-birth from Jigsaw, that guy from Saw...kinda? Maybe? Whatever, it made me even more excited to see this show! I'll be adding more stuff to the page soon, but for now, go check out the website and make your Fringe plans for the week!

And I'm on the air AS I WRITE THIS doing pledge drive to get you to support public radio....if you love it and wouldn't want to live without it please call in and pledge your support!!!

A real life Star Trek Enterprise, weight loss drug made from lizard spit and at-home HIV test kits! 10 Cool Discoveries you need to know about!

Enterprise pic from Memory Beta Wiki

This is my favorite of my "Ten Cool Discoveries You Need to Know About" so far and that's saying something! This week in my column I have plans for a real life USS Enterprise, quantum teleportation, how puffer fish may help you smile (more than they already do), at-home HIV tests, mysterious ancient Peruvian skulls found in a Central Florida backyard and  a weight loss drug synthesized from lizard spit. How could anyone not want to read this! You'll get cocktail party conversation for the whole week, AND you won't forget about the solar eclipse on Sunday!
Please throw this column around like confetti on all your social media!!! The world will love you for it!

Liz on Godlike Productions/TheRawFeed

Lately I've gotten to do a lot of radio, both here at home on WMFE and on stations all over the country to get to talk about "Crazy Little Thing: Why Love and Sex Drive Us Mad," my book how love turns perfectly normal people a mix of Daffy Duck, Lloyd Dobbler and Single White Female.

One of the best to date was my recent appearance The RawFeed/Godlike Productions and I think the reason it went so well is the same reason I was worried about doing it: it's two hours long. I can talk enough to bring down entire swathes of rain forest with all the CO2 I emit but two hours is a long time, even for me.

Not, though, when you have a good host, and The RawFeed's Phennommennonn was a total pleasure. She asked great questions, offered intriguing counterpoints and was a funny and engaging great conversationalist, which is what interviewing is all about. The two-hours I was worried about flew by so fast I didn't even get to tell the audience about some of the crazy-ass people in the book, like Count Carl Von Cosel, who refused to take "she's dead" for an answer when his would-be bride kicked the bucket or love among the circus people - like the Alligator-Skinned Man and the Monkey Girl -  of Gibsonton, Florida.

But there are a TON of things we DID get to talk about so go to Godlike Productions' blog/podcast archive and check it out - - I'm on the May 10, 2012 podcast - and while you're at it you might want to give a listen to some of their previous guests. This is not not stuff you're going to hear on commercial radio...but then aren't commercials and anger mostly what you hear on commercial radio? Do you need more of that?

Godlike Productions describes itself as "UFO's, conspiracy theorists and the lunatic fringe," and you might also want to check out their home page here - they've got a great news feed and you can see what's coming up on their podcasts and events.
Although, if you're really on the lunatic fringe, you realize you never know what's coming....right?

Anyway, go listen and enjoy - I did!

Alien gif from Webweaver

Ten Amazing Discoveries That Should Get at Least As Much $$ as the Kardashians

So the Kardashians just signed a $40 million three year contract - and while I'd take that kind of scratch too if anyone would give it to me, frankly, if I had the loot to hand out I'd give it to brain researchers, nutrition researchers and orangutans who really need iPads. Check out these amazing stories of scientific discovery, whimsey and genius....and the amateur nature photographer who found this gorgeous, crystal-clear caterpillar on a red mango leaf. He deserves a couple mil for this gorgeous thing, doesn't he?

TEN AMAZING DISCOVERIES THAT SHOULD BE WORTH MILLIONS!!!

And if you enjoy this column please share it on your Facebook, Twitter, Digg, etc....it needs lots of clicks to stay alive and I want to keep it around! Okay, end of pledge drive!!!!!!! Share & enjoy!!!!!!!

What's Hot in CF: Mothers & Others Day!

Whether you are a mother, have a mother or feel sometimes like you could use a mother, there's a mom that has had a big influence on your life, hopefully a good one. While it's smart to keep her apprised of what she means to you on a regular basis (otherwise she may crush your soul with guilt) this Sunday, Mother's Day, is the day to make sure she knows it.

Martha & me in 1970

On What's Hot in Central Florida on WMFE 90.7 FM this week - you can click the link or listen live at 4:32 pm today- I've got three events I think mothers and others will enjoy, including the Ivanhoe Village Virginia Drive Live Street Party, where you can shop, eat and who doesn't need a drink when they've been hanging out with mom for awhile? Then there's Where Have All The Cracker's Gone? a history of the Florida cracker with author Janis Owens and samples of classic Florida recipes and free admission for moms at Harry P. Leu Gardens, one of my favorite spots in town, an oasis of peaceful beauty that has a wonderful way of erasing the every day.

BLOG ONLY BONUS! That's all good mom stuff.

But if you want to see some of the worst moms in the world check out the mother of all satires, Jeff Jones' Little Miss Parliament House, playing one show on Saturday night, May 12 at the Parliament House (go to WanziePresents for tickets). This send-up of child beauty pageant reality show "Toddlers and Tiaras" features lightyears-over-the-top drag queens from the Parliament House playing both the little girls and their moms, plus a rotating cast means you never see the same show twice. I reviewed Little Miss PH when it premiered in January and stick by my assessment: riotously funny. Someone in the theater will probably wet their pants and at this level of comedy it may very well be you. 

     Happy Muddah's Day! 

Amazing stuff you missed in "Amazing Stuff You Missed"

      My new column on Alternet "Ten Amazing Discoveries You Missed This Week" is so chock full of cool findings that it's hard to talk it all up at once. One thing I wanted to make sure gets its due is a story from Our Amazing Planet on "8 Unsung Women Explorers", women who trekked the wide and wild world as intrepidly as one can imagine but who we don't hear that much about. Helen Thayer, for example (pictured below in a story from WFAE public radio Charlotte), lived with a wolf pack in the Arctic - and Gertrude Bell (pictured left in a story by Christopher Hitchens in the Atlantic) explored and charted Arabia. Girls of any age can take great inspiration from these stories - in fact, we all, men and women, need a little more inspiration than we sometimes let on and these tales of adventure will doubtlessly give you more courage to pursue your own (they're on page 3 of "Ten Amazing Things").

       So there's THAT....plus there's the finding that wind farms do not cause global warming as some alarmist headlines suggested and a word about invasive cannibal tiger shrimp that sound delicious (no really, they do) but that you might not want to have at your table. 

      Anyway, enjoy it, share it subscribe and keep looking for Amazing Things.

Ten Amazing Discoveries You Missed This Week

Yes, they're laughing at you.

Well, the SUPERMOON was as beautiful as I thought it would be....I got to see it over the little airport near my house and could just imagine it over Miami, over Paris, over Maui and am sure there will be pictures of it all over the web in a million places soon. That was, indeed, one of the Ten Amazing Things You Missed (or hopefully didn') of the week, the others including how suspected terrorists hid their plans in a porn video (it's called "stegaonography"), how dolphins might be better co-workers than your co-workers, giant cannibal shrimp invading the Gulf and buildings that eat smog - brilliant, scary, fabulous!
What else is there to want?
Anyway, Ten Amazing Things on Alternet.org is going great so far - please share it with your friends, Tweet, FB, Digg, etc - everybody needs a little amazement in their week.

What's Hot in Central Florida: Keepin' it simple

It's been an exhausting entre into summer and this weekend What's Hot in Central Florida on 90.7 FM super happy to keep it super simple with Doc "Lucky" Meisenheimer's spiffy yo-yo exhibition at the Orlando Public Library Downtown, the wonderful slow-down-and-look-around ethos of the Winter Garden Harvest Festival and Agnes of God at the Breakthrough Theatre in Winter Park. I've never seen the play but if it's anything like the movie  I'd be up for multiple viewings.
Also, super double bonus: don't forget the SUPER MOON! Saturday night at 11:35 pm the moon will be at it's perigee - the closest it comes to us all year - and it will be full so it'll be extra bright. What was it Jack Horkheimer used to say? "Keep looking up!" (Moon from Space.com)

A PSA for Sexy Seniors

Aging doesn't mean losing interest in sex and sometimes seniors need a nudge in the direction of safety just like their younger counterparts...check out my post on MyPleasure.com, Sexy Seniors for the skinny on a brilliant PSA to help all the hot pants grannies and grandpas out there that "Play safe" isn't just for kids.
Photo from Harold and Maude on Fanpop